ACM minutes Sept 24, 2023

Topics: conflict support: identifying your emotions; community websites & wiki; welcoming committee

Present: Lynda (co-fac), Laura, Lauren, Jorge, Ben, Kay (notes), Mike (fac), Laura, Carol, Laraine, Vicky, Amalie, Gheybin, Jordan, Cheryl, Robin, Kerry, Vinnie, Cyd

Conflict Support: Identifying Your Emotions

Handout on Unhealthy Conflict:  You vs. Me.  Healthy Conflict: You & Me vs The Problem

Game "Grok", pack of cards with emotions and feelings.

A fill-in-the-blank sentence that can be useful is, "When I see [observation], I feel [emotion], because I need [need/history]. Would you be willing to [action]?" 

Passive tense feelings, expressed as verb+ed tend to be passive, something someone else has done to you, rather than how you are reacting to your interpretation of your observation. Avoid accusation. 

"Need" can come across as a demand.  "I prefer".  My needs and feelings are my responsibility, but the other person can help or hinder.  Explain what in your history leads you to interpret an action a particular way.